annuin: (Apparrliss)
Marieke ([personal profile] annuin) wrote2005-02-14 02:51 pm

V-Day

But I don't like the weeks of men-are-clueless-scum-and-women-are-grasping-bitches-and-you're-fucked-if-you-don't-buy-her-a-diamond media propaganda.

From Poppy Z. Brite's journal.

And I heartily concur.

I dislike the rampant sexism in the ads for Valentine's Day. Nearly always it's about the men needing to buy gifts, either chocolate, flowers or preferably something sparkly from Kay jewelers, with the threat of spending Valentine's night on the couch. I guess feminism goes out the window when it comes to getting goodies.

I patiently await when there are ads in the media for women to buy stuff for their men (yes, I know many do anyway, but I'm talking about media/marketing perception here).

Meanwhile, all the candy will be on sale tomorrow at CVS :D Hopefully they discount it like they do the Halloween candy: 75% off!

[identity profile] vgnwtch.livejournal.com 2005-02-14 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I so do not miss advertising!

[identity profile] tanthe.livejournal.com 2005-02-14 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Seriously, the Valentine's ad onslaught is bad. If you think Christmas ramps up the consumerism, forget it. This does too, and this pulls heavily on men's guilt strings. In nearly all the ads the men are buying stuff for the women, the ads are nearly always for products for the women, and the threat of sexless nights on the couches aren't shunned either.

I never knew the day for lovers was so one-sided, because that's how it appears in media-land.

And to be honest, this kind of stuff is what really kills the idea of Valentine's day for me, much like the insane consumerism really kills Christmas. Hallmark holidays. Ugh.

[identity profile] vgnwtch.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Women want stuff and men want sex; both are prostitutes and love be damned. Ick. Nothing against prostitution, it just doesn't describe my marriage.

Honestly, though, I tend to think of myself as being in a parallel universe to people who swallow this line. My universe is people by cool folk who celebrate holidays because they mean something special to them, not because everyone else says they ought to and by the way buy stuff. I'm a big believer in spontaneous romance, but at the same time, there's much to be said for setting aside a special day for something more planned. Balance is a good thing.

[identity profile] docbrite.livejournal.com 2005-02-14 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
My favorite slogan of the year: "She can't hang up on roses." Why the hell would you want to buy roses for somebody who'd otherwise hang up on you? Or are we to assume that the poor guy is, heh-heh, "in the doghouse" and of course she'll forget all about it when she sees those dozen longstems?

[identity profile] prez.livejournal.com 2005-02-14 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
In Grand Central Terminal (NYC) over dec/jan (both months, usually advertising is only up for one month, this was up for two), they had advertising for "A Diamond Is Forever" (which itself is a slogen that was invented by De Beers (spit)). Every single one had a picture of some piece of jewelery and a slogan. Nothing about the jewelery itself, and every slogan was obviously aimed at men telling them to buy jewelery for their woman - and hang the expense, and don't expect anything more than a pair of socks in return.

Such gem slogans (no pun intended) as:
"Immagine the resolutions's SHE'LL make"
"For once you'll know exactly what she's thinking"
"She hasn't kissed you like that since, well, has she ever kissed you like that?"
"No assembly required, unless she falls to pieces"
"Make sure she has a soft place to land"

and so on, if you're really interested, I found a link to the ads to refresh my memory of the slogans that made be grit my teeth every day on the way to work, simply because of the sheer sexism (and yes, the whole 'men are mindless-etc' attitude) of it all.

The ads are here: http://www.adiamondisforever.com/hot/asadvertised.html
You have to then click 'sieze the day', and then 'view the ads' and a pop-up window will come up with the ads (with a little prev/next buttons at the top).

[identity profile] vgnwtch.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
::Bangs head on desk:::

What gets me is the people who say that feminism's over because we're all equal. Equally shoved into teeny-tiny gender roles to be determined by advertisers? I protest!

I suppose, though, that there isn't a lot of money to be made off pushing clear, honest, and mutually respectful communication and behaviour, and you wouldn't get so many diamonds sold if each advert carried pictures of bodies piled high: "Diamonds are forever; rights to diamond mines kind of shift around."

Last Valentine's Day, we both independently decided roses would be nice, and bought each other bouquets. The woman in the shop looked a bit nonplussed when I said I was buying them for my husband. People are weird, weird, weird.

[identity profile] tanthe.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
The woman in the shop looked a bit nonplussed when I said I was buying them for my husband.

Good grief. I think men really do get a bum wrap (rap?) in the romance department. They're expected to cough up the money, spend the time and effort buying/organising things, and get nothing in return. They should be appreciated too.

[identity profile] leonatos.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 11:12 am (UTC)(link)
I couldn't agree more. There is a great divide in the world in terms of romance, no equality. If it's not sucking up the bank accounts of men, then it's expecting women to look pretty and act civilised so they will impress the menfolk, get married, have kids, etc, etc.

I'm not saying that women shouldn't look pretty, but throughout history and even to the present day, more energy has gone into women's fashion and appearence, then men's. I know that's a lot of work, pressure and financial strain for women, but it makes me somewhat jealous.

[identity profile] tanthe.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not sure which concept I find scarier... the fact that people might really believe this could work, or the fact that this might actually work for some.

Though considering some relationships I've seen, I really shouldn't be surprised as it's certainly within the realm of possibility.

[identity profile] tanthe.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 07:25 am (UTC)(link)
Incidentally, this link might be of interest...

http://www.meish.org/vd/

[identity profile] illiana-galean.livejournal.com 2005-02-14 09:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Chocolate and roses for VDay? HA! We laugh at that idea! We give eachother knives and bowguns to show our love. Nothing says I love you like projectile weapons.

[identity profile] tanthe.livejournal.com 2005-02-15 07:26 am (UTC)(link)
Mmm... knives. Nothing like a fine curved blade.

[identity profile] catdraco.livejournal.com 2005-02-14 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Valentine's Day doesn't really have much of an impact for us. The boy and I don't need a special day to do something nice for each other - we do nice things all the time.

Actually, we spent much of yesterday roleplaying on Avlis (a persistent world using the Neverwinter engine), and most of that was spent with him showing me around and giving me items it would be almost impossible for my 1st level character to find on her own. In other words, he spent several hours helping me out in ways that didn't benefit him (or his character) at all. Geek love. *grin*

[identity profile] tanthe.livejournal.com 2005-02-14 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Valentine's Day doesn't really have much of an impact for us. The boy and I don't need a special day to do something nice for each other - we do nice things all the time.

Exactly, and we're much the same.

If you have to do your romance in once annual increments on a set day, I think you're in trouble :P

The part that often bothers me about is it's so forced. Much like the way here on tv around Christmas the emphasis is so heavily put on gift giving, and nothing more. The spirit of Christmas is consumerism, not doing something selfless (unless it involves maxing out your credit card).

And ugh, the ugly V-day jewelry! So chintzy and tacky, I'd never wear it.