Light At The End Of The Tunnel

[annuin]

I've a long way to go, and much to catch up on in the regular chores side of things and other lapsed activities and projects... but I finally feel as though things are starting to come together a bit.

Dashiell has, amazingly enough, been on a much more regular diurnal sleeping pattern for the last couple of weeks, so I feel like I'm much more functional as a result, seeing as I need to be awake during the day specifically for certain things (his therapy for one), and being so without having been up all night due to a nocturnal pattern is much nicer.

We still need to work on improving the quality of his sleep, but just having him in a normal pattern has really helped me feel like I can get out of this slump (or depression really).

[gamer/geek]I've cut back on a few things with WoW too, haven't felt up to raiding every night anyway, and the pvp grind has been boring me to tears, so taking a little distance with that is nice. [/gamer/geek]

I also feel like I have a bit better of an idea of what I want to do with GOTH.NET so that's good too.

Now, I just need to start doing them. Little bits at a time.

Comments

[nikkles.livejournal.com]

Yay!!!! I'm glad Dash has sorted out some kind of sleeping pattern :) Good to hear that you're finally feeling better as well!

*hugs*
oxox

[draelynkhar.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear things are looking up. My own schedule has been a bit wonky for the past several months, but if you need any help (with my limited abilities) on anything with GN, just let me know.

[tanthe.livejournal.com]

Any admin/mod stuff you do over at GN is always a help, and has been since you were made mod/admin :) So thanks.

And right now the input about the design for the site is also a big help.

[daskreestof.livejournal.com]

I think depressions going around. I've got it, Kit's got it, now you. Mmmmm. Maybe we can get together (well obviously not Kit) and breaks some bottles or something.

[tanthe.livejournal.com]

I've had it for a while, but I don't generally like to broadcast it across LJ, lol.

[erg.livejournal.com]

Go walkies, it helps the thinking cap, mainly.

And I'm glad you're seemingly going to post more.

[tanthe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I need to get out more. Soon I'll have the kiddo's winter fleece jacket (and snow suit, both are on order, lol), so he'll be more geared up for the increasingly cold weather.

And I do hope to post more and be more active with various online communities that I'm on. I've just been very blah and lethargic about too many things. Especially creatively. And looking back and seeing that I have a little boy who's almost 17 months old, and feeling that in that time I've done little else but take care of him and kind of survive with the other stuff, is kind of depressing. Not that I don't love taking care of him and that it isn't an important job, but you want to feel that you're being meaningful and creative in other ways too.

I also so need to get back to the gym... I have an ongoing gym membership that's been gathering dust for the last few months, which is also a waste of money.

And I need to do some updates in my neglected paper journal, and keep up with that again. The one-post-a-day paper journal project also failed dismally this year.

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

Ack! I wish I'd been a better correspondent and picked up on any of this. Actually, any kind of correspondent at all.

T and I are finding that just walking around is a real mood booster, even when the weather's not inviting. I am really empathising with the whole disrupted sleep thing - it makes such a difference, and people who haven't experienced it over the long term really have no idea. I'm glad D is settling down.

[tanthe.livejournal.com]

I've not been much of a correspondent either, so don't blame yourself.

I've also not been in my personal computer profile, and haven't been able to access my email for a month now (I was having issues with the webmail interface too).

You more than anyone I know comprehends exactly how the sleep thing can affect a person. I know that even PreZ has had trouble believing that I don't get more than 3 hour stretches of sleep at any given time, and he's actually there... I do get consecutive blocks of sleep, but they're certainly not always long.

Last night he actually woke up the least, a fraction of what he was waking up just last week (I think he was teething then too though).

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

[crescentmuse.livejournal.com]

Yay for better sleep! It is amazing how much sleep affects us.

[tanthe.livejournal.com]

People always downplay its importance, and fail to see that how we function and view the world is very much influenced by the rest we're getting, or not getting as the case may be.

What's worse is when you're made to feel like you're exaggerating... that it can't be that bad, and surely you sleep sometimes etc.

As one with a little one, you know exactly how temperamental their nights (and days) can be, and that sometimes you're just running from one nap to the next.

[crescentmuse.livejournal.com]

So true! Durning the bad times i swear that my entire day is about sleep. Can I get her to nap, should I keep her awake, will she ever sleep?! It colors everything. And you add your own bleary sleepless vision on top of it and it is even more frustrating.

[tanthe.livejournal.com]

Can I get her to nap

Yeah, sometimes you're just struggling to get to nap time so you can lie down for one too.

Durning the bad times i swear that my entire day is about sleep.

Oh, I hear you... you wake up tired as hell and you're just living 'til the next nap, and looking forward to the end of the day when daddy shows up so you can crash out for a while, or until the kiddo falls asleep for the night.

Do you ever feel like you were lied to about the whole sleep thing? I mean, I knew before I had Dashiell that I would be tired and it would be hard, but somehow I feel as though people kept from me exactly how hard it would be. Or maybe those who have gone through it years ago just kind of see it with rose-tinted glasses or something, and downplay how bad it was. Kind of like how childbirth doesn't seem so bad once you put some chronological distance between you and the event.

[crescentmuse.livejournal.com]

"looking forward to the end of the day when daddy shows up"
Do you do the clock watch at the end of the day too? Or is that just me? On the bad days I even start calling about an hour before it is time for him to get home asking when he is coming home. I'm so pathetic. LOL

"Do you ever feel like you were lied to about the whole sleep thing?"
Oh yeah! The sleep thing and the entire baby thing! They say it is hard but they don't really tell you. I think it is their secret way to get you into the parent club. They make it all shiny and sweet and rewarding sounding and then you go and give a try and before you know it you are trying to convert other childless people to your way of life just so you too will have more people to talk about nap time and poop to.

re specifically sleep: even now I feel like I can't even complain to my non AP friends about the sleep situation because they believe I should just let her CIO in her crib like that would solve all my problems. They really freak out when they find out she doesn't have a crib and sleeps with us. But I swear their kids have to be awake during the night as well, they must have some trouble napping, they must be cranky and have sleep issues, etc... after all they are just babies and toddlers not adults. Did they just stop crying about it or do they still cry and the parents don't listen?

Wow sorry... I didn't mean to turn that into a mini rant.

[tanthe.livejournal.com]

Sadly Prez doesn't get home until 8pm usually, though Dashiell is still refusing to go to sleep at a normal kid bedtime (7-8pm until about 7am would be bliss) so he'll be awake when his dad gets home. He's pretty much always home at the same time because that's the train he takes and he can't leave any earlier really.

even now I feel like I can't even complain to my non AP friends

Thankfully most of my friends with kids are AP. Though they're mostly all overseas, so nobody local (anymore). So at least online I can commiserate with them. I don't know anyone local with kids, except for the landlord's daughter, and she's not exactly AP... scheduled hospital induction due to "big baby", FF'd her kiddo because it was easy (and she smokes), stuck him in daycare early on, early solids feeders and I'm sure they're the CIO type. So I don't really talk about much from the childrearing realm with them. I know they probably think PreZ and I are weird anyway, being mostly black clad freaks, lol, as well as having had a homebirth etc.

I think most people just lie about how their kid sleeps. Because you're eternally asked "so, is he sleeping through the night?" "Is she a good baby?" (because not sleeping like we'd want them to is being 'bad').

We have a crib for Dashiell (about 3 feet from our bed, lol), but he rarely sleeps in it. If I'm lucky he starts in it, but he usually transfers over after a while. It's from IKEA and converts into a toddler bed, which is one reason we got it, for when he's older.

At least I feel like I can vent to my son's therapists. His OT is very alternative therapy/granola (does cranial-sacral massage, that kind of thing), and his Special Instruction guy and his wife co-slept with their daughter until she was 14 (Latino family, where it's much more common... though I'd certainly draw the line personally before 14, lol). But at least they're on a similar page to me, and I don't feel like a total weirdo talking about the way I parent my son.

[crescentmuse.livejournal.com]

"being mostly black clad freaks"
LOL!!! Cute!

That is awesome about the therapist! LOL my brother and I co-slept with my parents till we were in our "leave me alone" puberty angst.