Reflections On Unfinished Things
Dec. 30th, 2006 01:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annuinMy aunt's passing earlier this year, and the subsequent need to deal with her posessions put a few things into sharp relief for me. Besides having to deal with the vast extent of her packratting and hoarding, going through the unfinished projects was a sad business.
To backtrack, my aunt, as well as my mother and her two other sisters and my grandmother are all interested in fibre arts of various stripes (and various other crafty things besides). You name it, and one of them has done one or several of the following: knitting, patchworking, quilting, embroidery, cross-stitch, sewing, weaving, crocheting etc. You get the idea. My aunt though was the quintessential fibre artist, especially once her kids were grown up and after her divorce. She had a pretty impressive output, and was always working on numerous projects. As we would find out after she died, she was working on more projects than she could ever finish, even had she lived a lot longer.
It had long been kind of a running joke that she would buy up lots of stuff when various fabric and crafty stores went out of business, and we all knew she had enough to last her for ages. We realised once we started to go through her stuff that she could have easily opened her own store. And I only helped with packing and sorting one day, and I didn't see the full extent. In a way this in itself was sad, because it seems to have been indicative of a problem that ran much deeper than anyone had known about. I know that as her passing neared, she was extremely reluctant to hand over financial information to her sons, because it illustrated that she was in debt a fair bit because of the way she would buy lots of things that interested her.
Even besides the craft stuff and bales of wool and fabric that were taken from her apartment, there were boxes upon boxes upon boxes of cooking books and other books. It was amazing that so much stuff had even fit into her place. Though, from what I was told, some of the rooms had only a pathway left to get to places, so it was certainly getting out of control.
The saddest part for me was just the many projects that she had started and would never finish. Many of the unused items are easy (or easier) to try and sell, but partially completed projects not so much. Quite a few of these unfinished projects have been distributed amongst the family so that we can either complete them ourselves, or get someone to complete them. Those of us who adopted a project paid for them too, in part because often the materials had substantial value anyway, and to help offset the bills and debts that she left behind.
Besides getting a Matrushka doll that I had asked her for (my father had brought it back from a trip to Russia and given it to her, so it had significant meaning for me in that way), I adopted a cross-stitch project, one of a "Mandala" series that she had bought many of. My mother and both my aunts also bought one of the "Mandala" series, and I think some of my cousins also ended up with them or were at least interested. These are all elaborate cross-stitch projects, and my aunt had stitched parts of most of them. Never one to scrimp, my aunt went for the lush versions of all the materials (it could have been done with regular cotton embroidery floss, but she went for the nicer/more expensive option). The materials include nicer linen to stitch on, as well as real silk embroidery floss, and actual crystals and beads (including Swarovski stuff).
The Mandala I picked was the "Egypt Garden" mandala. The pattern is from an artist called Martina Weber (http://chatelaine-design.de/newweb/). She did a series of Mandala garden patterns. Of all the patterns that my aunt had, I was immediately drawn to that one, I've always had a fascination with Egypt since I was young. Lucky for me (and perhaps unsurprising really), what I liked wasn't what my other aunts or my mother had already picked for themselves, so it was still availible for me.
The finished version looks like this:
My aunt had stitched less than a quarter of mine, so there is a lot for me to do. It's a challenge, because it is also includes difficult stitches, and I haven't done cross-stitch in a long long while. I do however have other simpler projects that I want to do before I start on this, including a cross-stitch safari sampler for Dashiell.
This is a picture of the work completed by my aunt:
And two close-ups of the level of detail in the piece. You can also see the beads and metallic threads in it too, though the crystals are harder to spot:
I will say though that I feel lucky that my aunt did work on so many items, and that she left behind a large body of creative work, which her relatives can remember her by for decades to come. I also like the fact that I will be able to work on this piece, knowing that she too worked on it, and that it will be a collaboration of sorts.
The one thing though that her passing did underscore to me is that I need to work harder to actually focus and finish projects, and try and restrain myself from starting too many projects and never finishing them. There were unfinished projects amongst my aunts things that I know had been waiting to be finished for at least a decade, pieces that had needed maybe an hour or two more of work, but were then abandoned for a more pressing interest. That was one of the saddest things for me, the amount of unfinished potential I guess.
And so I will try to use all of this knowledge as the core for a New Year's resolution, though I do generally hate them. I guess though that it's more of an attempt at a permanent life change, rather than a resolution, as they never seem to be quite permanent.
Maybe some of you can walk away with the same intentions from what I have written. I hope so.
To backtrack, my aunt, as well as my mother and her two other sisters and my grandmother are all interested in fibre arts of various stripes (and various other crafty things besides). You name it, and one of them has done one or several of the following: knitting, patchworking, quilting, embroidery, cross-stitch, sewing, weaving, crocheting etc. You get the idea. My aunt though was the quintessential fibre artist, especially once her kids were grown up and after her divorce. She had a pretty impressive output, and was always working on numerous projects. As we would find out after she died, she was working on more projects than she could ever finish, even had she lived a lot longer.
It had long been kind of a running joke that she would buy up lots of stuff when various fabric and crafty stores went out of business, and we all knew she had enough to last her for ages. We realised once we started to go through her stuff that she could have easily opened her own store. And I only helped with packing and sorting one day, and I didn't see the full extent. In a way this in itself was sad, because it seems to have been indicative of a problem that ran much deeper than anyone had known about. I know that as her passing neared, she was extremely reluctant to hand over financial information to her sons, because it illustrated that she was in debt a fair bit because of the way she would buy lots of things that interested her.
Even besides the craft stuff and bales of wool and fabric that were taken from her apartment, there were boxes upon boxes upon boxes of cooking books and other books. It was amazing that so much stuff had even fit into her place. Though, from what I was told, some of the rooms had only a pathway left to get to places, so it was certainly getting out of control.
The saddest part for me was just the many projects that she had started and would never finish. Many of the unused items are easy (or easier) to try and sell, but partially completed projects not so much. Quite a few of these unfinished projects have been distributed amongst the family so that we can either complete them ourselves, or get someone to complete them. Those of us who adopted a project paid for them too, in part because often the materials had substantial value anyway, and to help offset the bills and debts that she left behind.
Besides getting a Matrushka doll that I had asked her for (my father had brought it back from a trip to Russia and given it to her, so it had significant meaning for me in that way), I adopted a cross-stitch project, one of a "Mandala" series that she had bought many of. My mother and both my aunts also bought one of the "Mandala" series, and I think some of my cousins also ended up with them or were at least interested. These are all elaborate cross-stitch projects, and my aunt had stitched parts of most of them. Never one to scrimp, my aunt went for the lush versions of all the materials (it could have been done with regular cotton embroidery floss, but she went for the nicer/more expensive option). The materials include nicer linen to stitch on, as well as real silk embroidery floss, and actual crystals and beads (including Swarovski stuff).
The Mandala I picked was the "Egypt Garden" mandala. The pattern is from an artist called Martina Weber (http://chatelaine-design.de/newweb/). She did a series of Mandala garden patterns. Of all the patterns that my aunt had, I was immediately drawn to that one, I've always had a fascination with Egypt since I was young. Lucky for me (and perhaps unsurprising really), what I liked wasn't what my other aunts or my mother had already picked for themselves, so it was still availible for me.
The finished version looks like this:
My aunt had stitched less than a quarter of mine, so there is a lot for me to do. It's a challenge, because it is also includes difficult stitches, and I haven't done cross-stitch in a long long while. I do however have other simpler projects that I want to do before I start on this, including a cross-stitch safari sampler for Dashiell.
This is a picture of the work completed by my aunt:
And two close-ups of the level of detail in the piece. You can also see the beads and metallic threads in it too, though the crystals are harder to spot:
I will say though that I feel lucky that my aunt did work on so many items, and that she left behind a large body of creative work, which her relatives can remember her by for decades to come. I also like the fact that I will be able to work on this piece, knowing that she too worked on it, and that it will be a collaboration of sorts.
The one thing though that her passing did underscore to me is that I need to work harder to actually focus and finish projects, and try and restrain myself from starting too many projects and never finishing them. There were unfinished projects amongst my aunts things that I know had been waiting to be finished for at least a decade, pieces that had needed maybe an hour or two more of work, but were then abandoned for a more pressing interest. That was one of the saddest things for me, the amount of unfinished potential I guess.
And so I will try to use all of this knowledge as the core for a New Year's resolution, though I do generally hate them. I guess though that it's more of an attempt at a permanent life change, rather than a resolution, as they never seem to be quite permanent.
Maybe some of you can walk away with the same intentions from what I have written. I hope so.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-30 08:04 am (UTC)It's a timely reminder for me, too. I'm really good at starting projects...
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-01 02:34 am (UTC)And I think we all need a kick in the butt occasionally to remind us to go ahead and actually finish things, rather than leave a trail of unfinished projects.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-30 09:17 am (UTC)I'm getting slowly better about finishing projects as I become more secure and confident, and I'm hoping to set myself attainable goals this year in sewing, crochet and knitting, and writing, along with upping my fitness levels. It seems to me that breaking it into concrete steps is the way I need to approach projects; otherwise, I become overwhelmed and paralysed by inactivity.
I'm looking forward to seeing the finished piece - I hope you'll post pictures.
BTW, I love the new LJ look.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-30 07:52 pm (UTC)I do have all the embroidery floss for the Jungle/Safari sampler for Dashiell (I'll take a picture and post that soon), I just need the cloth to embroider on, and I have two other patterns that came from a stack of my aunts things, along with the hand-dyed silk floss she'd already bought to make them. One is a Halloween Sampler, and another is a cat in a summery setting (not a realistic looking cat). Both pieces that appealed to me and suit me in a way.
Both of those were unstarted projects, and she probably picked up the patterns and the floss at a convention or maybe ordered online or something.
The Jungle sampler will be first, before Dashiell gets way too old, lol.
And thank you about the new layout. It's one from the Style Contest selection which I liked, called Fleur. I felt it was time for a change... just in time for the new year.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-30 12:41 pm (UTC){{hugs}}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-01 02:37 am (UTC)They're priced like works of art too, the materials are quite expensive to purchase. But, I guess that's true of all hobbies and art really.
For now it's still back in Holland amongst several other items that need to be sent to me at some point. I have a couple of other, simpler, cross-stitch projects around that I can do, including a cute jungle sampler for Dashiell.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-02 05:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-31 06:53 am (UTC)This is a good reminder for me too, on the yarn front. It's not that I don't finish projects, it's that I buy yarn for projects but then go and buy more yarn and more yarn, etc, and don't even start the other projects.Bad me.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-01 02:33 am (UTC)In my aunt's case, I think she had enough materials for projects that she could have worked on full-time until she was at least 100 or so, no joke.
I'm sure everyone has stuff lying around for future projects, and there's nothing wrong with having stuff for the future, and several projects on the go, but sometimes you just have to watch that those two things don't get out of hand and that you just make sure you finish things in a rate that closely resembles the rate at which you acquire other things.
Organisational stuff is similar really... you need to make sure you get rid of a similar amount of crap as that which you accrue at any given time.
Ah... the new year, a time for kicking organising and cleaning in the butt, lol.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-01 04:10 am (UTC)And yes, the new year is the time for that. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-01 06:19 pm (UTC)There was a show on last night, Resolutionaries, where in various episodes they helped people with various resolutions. One was about losing weight, one about quitting smoking, and the one I saw part of was organising your stuff and life.
One guy needed help with his time management skills in order to get his idea for a children's book published. And the two other women in the show needed help conquering the stuff and clutter that was threatening to take over their lives.
Granted, their situation was more extreme than mine or yours would be, but you can easily see the seeds of it, and it's good to watch how to conquer it before you get to a ridiculous level. Especially seeing as the huge levels of clutter just make you feel more inadequate to deal with it, so nipping it in the bud early is good.
So far I've started the new year with a clean Windows installation, which I've been putting off doing for months, and which was extremely necessary. I think today's goal will be to clean the bathroom.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-01 11:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-02 12:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-31 10:45 am (UTC)I like your new years resolution (life change). I think I will also try and adapt that to my life changes in 2007. Instead of pushing things aside I will finish them! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-01 03:15 am (UTC)There are so many other Mandala gardens that she had that were really stunning. I'm trying not to do what she did and buy several of them, lol. Many are run as monthly projects... you pay for the item, and you get monthly installments emailed to you to stitch.
Like this one: http://chatelaine-design.de/newweb/cgi-bin/detail.pl?online14 You pay for the electronic file (and still have to buy the materials seperately, packs are often availible so you don't have to source every item yourself). It looks like that one starts in March 07 and will run until February 08. I believe that paying for the file/subscription also gives you access to a Yahoo group for help/tips/advice. And doing a project like that in a year or so is also a more attainable goal as well. I like that Mandala too.
My youngest aunt has this one: http://chatelaine-design.de/newweb/cgi-bin/detail.pl?medievaltown
My other aunt has this one:
http://europeanxs.com/chatelaine/m8progress.jpg
My mother has one from a "Mystery" series, where you don't know ahead of time what it will look like, all you get is a description and a picture of the materials used so you get a sense of the colours. I think hers is supposed to be something like a French King's Country/vegetable garden. this (http://image58.webshots.com/58/8/93/21/2953893210062691261EmeTbX_ph.jpg) is a picture of the center part that I found, you can see the little cauliflowers or something in the middle, lol.
For pictures of some of the other ones that I know my aunt had, have a look here: http://europeanxs.com/chatelaine.html and check out the Alpine Garden, Japanese Garden, Taj Mahal (another I was considering when we originally couldn't find the Egypt Garden one or didn't know if my aunt had had it at all).
Besides that I know my aunt had many of the other mini and midi mysteries etc. If you look at what the materials cost (Kit costs can be seen on that europeanxs.com site when the material kits are availible), you get an idea of how obsessive her buying really was, and how easy it is to get into debt with that stuff.
The Pompeji and St. Petersburg gardens are new (since I was last on the site), and I really like both of them. But I have floss for 3 other cross-stitch projects, and I should at least get started/complete 1 or more of those (once I get the fabric) and live up to my resolution before buying anything more.